Science
by Miss Rose Weasley
Summary: Full title: "Humanoid Cats, Rubber Duckies, Hippies, and Llamas learn about: Weather/Atmosphere! From a leprechaun!" The title says it all!
1. Humanoid Kitties

Chapter One: The Humanoid Cats

It was a normal day at the Junkyard. Except, nobody was there. Victoria and Demeter were dancing, Bustopher Jones was eating, and Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were going through their latest bag of loot.

Then they began to get really, really bored. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer looked through their bags for what felt like the 100th time. Victoria and Demeter danced so much they got sore. Bustopher Jones ate so much he was about to throw up.

"It's really hot out today," Demeter sighed. Victoria could only nod.

"'ot? Are you kidding?" said Rumpleteazer.

"I'm freezing!" Mungojerrie agreed.

"I'm warm, as well," boomed Bustopher Jones, loud despite how sick he felt.

The cats began to argue, though just because they were so bored. The weather had nothing to do with it. When all of a sudden, they disappeared.

Old Deuteronomy and Munkustrap walked down from the tire to see where their friends had gone, but they found no one. "Where did everybody go?" they wondered, and with a shrug returned to Jemima's birthday party.


	2. Rubber Duckies

Chapter Two: Rubber Duckies

Somewhere far away, two rubber duckies were just as bored. Ho-Ho, a thirty-two foot rubber duckie, and his grandfather, Uncle Albert, were sitting around floating. A fly landed on Ho-Ho's nose. "Uhhhhhhh," said Ho-Ho dumbly, and ran himself into a bridge over and over until the fly finally flew away.

They sat there for a while more, until Ho-Ho said, dumbly, "Uncle Albert? I'm bored. What can I do?"

"I'll tell you what you can do," Uncle Albert began angrily, when all of a sudden they disappeared too.

The mother of Ho-Ho and the daughter of Uncle Albert came out with peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches and tall glasses of lemonade. "Boys!" she said in one of those sing-song voices. "Lunch! Boys?" But there was no one there. "Hmph. More for me, I guess. They don't need the calories, anyway," she muttered to herself as she floated away.


	3. Hippies

Chapter Three: The Hippies

There was quiet in an alley were four tie-dye clad teenagers sat in round sunglasses.

"Yo, dudes," said a guy with long brown hair named Rainbow, "I'm, like, totally, like, bored."

"Seriously, dude," said a girl with white blond hair that reached her knees named Flower.

The third, who was not wearing sunglasses, got up. "Why did I even agree to come hang out with you guys?" he muttered. He walked away.

The three hippies sat there. "I, like, was, like, totally getting bad vibes off that dude, and all," said a guy with long blond hair named Unicorn.

"Now what, dudes?" asked Flower.

"I could, like, play my guitar and all," said Rainbow, picking up a ukulele and strumming it awfully. He finished and yelled, "Peace out, dudes!" Then smashed the ukulele against the wall.

"Dude," said Unicorn. "That was, like, not cool."

They sat around for another hour or so. "Now what, dooo…" Flower began, until they disappeared.

The boy who had abandoned his hippie friends decided to go back and see what they were doing now. But when he returned to the alley, he didn't see anything. "Aw, man!" he said, cursing. "They went and had fun without me!"

And he left.


	4. Llamas

Chapter Four: The Llamas

"I'm hungry," said a llama with a green knitted hat. "I'm hungry… for HANDS!"

"Carl," said a crazy brown llama, "I want some crescent rolls!"

"No," said Carl, "this is much more serious, Lemonhead."

"CARL," said Lemonhead. "CARL. CARL. CARL. CARL."

"Yes, Lemonhead?" said Carl, turning.

"Oh, I just wanted to say that," said Lemonhead. "PEANUT BUTTER!"

"Oh, I quite agree," said Carl, "and you know what else, Lemonhead…?"

"FOGOO!" cried Lemonhead as the two of them disappeared.

Carl's brother walked in. "Carl?" he said. "I wonder where he went." He left again, and went to sink a cruise ship.


	5. The Leprechaun

Chapter Five: The Leprechaun

"Ooh, visitors!" sang a really, really, really, really, really…

_***FIVE HOURS LATER***_

…really, really, really old leprechaun named Phillip. He walked out with a tray of tea and biscuits.

"Oh, look, Carl! Crescent rolls!" said Lemonhead, taking a big bite.

"HANDS," said Carl, eyeing the leprechaun's hands.

"Ooh, look at that pretty watch," said Mungojerrie, and his mate made a grab for the gold hanging out of the leprechaun's pocket, but Phillip had moved on.

"Yo, dude, like, we're not in the peace alley anymore," said Rainbow.

"Dude," added Unicorn, "that is one big duck."

"Lookie, Uncle Albert!" said Ho-Ho, "it's people, and kitties, and llamas!"

"Oh, shut up, you idiot," said Uncle Albert angrily.

"Now," said Phillip, "I suppose you were all incredibly bored…"

"Don't remind me," said Rumpleteazer, as her mate clutched his stomach dramatically.

"I have the solution!" cried Phillip triumphantly. "There's only one thing to do. LEARN!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," moaned the crowd. "ANYTHING but THAT!!!"

"That's right," said Phillip with a girlish giggle. Victoria began to sulk away to dance.

"Now, come back here, you!" said Phillip angrily.

"Uncle Albert," said Ho-Ho, real intelligently, "the kitty was trying to dance."

"Would you SHUT UP?!?" said Uncle Albert angrily.

"MACAVITY!" cried Demeter.

"No, my dear Demeter," said Bustopher Jones loudly, "I do not believe that that is your brother."

"PEACE!!!" screamed Unicorn.

"Dude!" said Flower.

"Seriously, dude," said Rainbow, "I was getting some mojo vibes."

"Would you guys shut up?" yelled Mungojerrie.

"We can't 'ear ourselves think!" agreed Rumpleteazer.

"I say, how rude," said Bustopher Jones loudly.

The entire crowd began to argue. Demeter said, "MACAVITY!" The hippies said, "PEACE!" The duckies said, "Huh!" Bustopher Jones said (loudly), "I'm hungry." Carl and Lemonhead, "Hey, me too. Where do you keep the boat nectar?" and Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer said, "And there's nothing at all to be done about that!" And Victoria just sat there and hummed _the Invitation to the Jellicle Ball _to herself.

"ENOUGH, ALREADY!!!" said Phillip. "Jeesh, guys, what's your problem? I mean, besides that you're humanoid cats and rubber duckies and hippies and llamas and I'm a leprechaun."

"Dude," said Rainbow, but Mungojerrie hit him in the face with his loot bag.

"Come on, guys," said Phillip. Before the crowd could argue, they all disappeared.


	6. The Dreaded Learning Begins

Chapter Six: The Dreaded Learning Begins

"MACAVITY!" cried Demeter.

"Enough already!" said Mungojerrie. "I'm getting an 'eadache."

"Me too," said Rumpleteazer, pretending to faint.

"I say, my dear Demeter," said Bustopher Jones loudly, "your brother is nowhere to be seen."

"Come on, now," said Phillip.

"Hurricane," said Ho-Ho dumbly, pointing to the tornado in front of them.

"No, that's not a hurricane," said Phillip. "A hurricane is a violent, tropical storm. That, my friend, is a cyclone. A cyclone is basically a tornado, a spinning cylinder formed of water and air."

Rumpleteazer screamed.

"What's wrong, love?" said Mungojerrie.

"I… I… I just LEARNED something!" his mate sobbed.

"Uncle Albert," said Ho-Ho, "the kitty's crying."

"_I'm _about to start crying," moaned Uncle Albert.

"Peace out, dudes," said Rainbow.

"Save the whales," added Flower.

"What are whales?" asked Unicorn.

"I don't know," said Rainbow.

"It just sounds cool," said Flower.

"Save the kitty, then," said Unicorn.

"I can do CPR!" Lemonhead rushed up to Rumpleteazer, but Bustopher Jones swatted her over the head with his giant spoon.

"I say!" he boomed.

"Would you believe it's a strawberry milkshake?" Carl asked Victoria, who whimpered away and started dancing.

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Demeter.

"It has to do with _everything_," argued Unicorn.

"Dude," said Rainbow, "we're just hippies."

"Strawberry milkshakes are the bomb," agreed Flower.

"Come on, everybody," said Phillip, "this has nothing to do with hurricanes and cyclones."

"No! No!" shrieked Rumpleteazer. "Don't mention those words, it's too much for my little kitty brain!"

"I think a cold front is coming in," said Phillip. "A cold front is—"

"Enough already!" screamed Mungojerrie. "Are ya trying to kill me poor mate?" He turned to Rumpleteazer and said, "There, there, love. I wanna get meself some fish sticks."

"I want crescent rolls," said Lemonhead.

"Me, too," said Carl, "and hands."

"I think I'm hungry for some venison," said Bustopher Jones, "or perhaps some winkles, or shrimps, or some nice curry, or maybe even cabbage, or rice pudding, or mutton…."

"I want some potted grouse," said Demeter.

"How about some Argentine joint, potatoes, and greens?" asked Rumpleteazer weakly.

"We're hungry for some peace!" screamed Unicorn.

"And hot dogs and cupcakes," added Rainbow and Flower.

"Uncle Albert," said Ho-Ho, "we missed breakfast! I'm hungry. I want a pizza."

Uncle Albert sighed, but for once, he agreed with his nephew. "With some anchovies and banana peppers…" he said dreamily.

Phillip sighed. "All in favor of a lunch break?"

The crowd stared at him. "Guess," they said in unison.


	7. Lunch Break

Chapter Seven: Lunch Break

"So, where are we going?" asked Bustopher Jones as they walked to lunch. "Fox's? Blimp's? Perhaps the gay stage and screen? Drones? Siamese? Glutton? Maybe even the Tomb?"

"No," said Phillip. "Here." He showed them a green meadow. They looked at him angrily, and he shrugged. "What?" he said. "I get hungry, too." He sat down and began munching on a clover.

"Can we order some McDonald's?" asked Flower.

"Yeah, Mc—what was that?" asked Bustopher Jones. "I say, I have never heard of that restaurant."

"What do we want?" said Mungojerrie. "Me an Teazer—well, not Teazer now, I guess…" he looked to his mate, who was having spasms—"but anyways, I could get us some foods."

They all placed extremely rare orders. Mungojerrie came back with tofu cheeseburgers and salmon paste.

"I'm… COCO FOR COCO PUFFS! COCO FOR COCO PUFFS!!!" screamed Unicorn, eating tofu.

"Salmon paste," said Victoria quietly.

"I want hands," said Carl. He, Lemonhead, Ho-Ho, and Uncle Albert were eating grass.

"This isn't what I had in mind," muttered Uncle Albert.

"Yo, dudes, I want some more ketchup for my cheeseburger," said Flower. "And, like, peace, and all."

They all finished eating. "Are you feeling better?" Phillip said to Rumpleteazer.

"Um… I think so…." said Rumpleteazer. Her spasms were over.

"Good!" said Phillip. "Now the learning can begin again!"  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…"


	8. Finally, It's OVER!

Chapter Eight: Finally, It's _Over_!!!

"Are we about done?" asked Mungojerrie with a sigh.

"WOULD YOU LET ME FINISH?!?" asked Phillip.

"Uncle Albert," said Ho-Ho, "the leprechaun person named Macavity is mad."

"MACAVITY!" cried Demeter. "…where?"

"Not here!" said Rumpleteazer. "Hallelujah!"

"Oh, good," said Demeter. "I was worried for a second."

"No, really?" said Mungojerrie.

"Guys!" said Phillip, but just then a flying coke can and an eraser came up.

"I've always had a dream," said the can. "I dreamed that I would meet someone like you." He looked at the eraser, who shrugged. Then the two of them left.

"Um, that was…" began Phillip, when all of a sudden Cassandra came out of a bush and started doing cartwheels. Bombalurina popped out after her.

"YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL!" she screamed. "I AM! TUGGER'S MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"

She chased her out of the meadow.

"Come back!" screamed Demeter. "SAAAAAAAAAAVE ME, BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bombalurina turned around. "Oh, fine," she said.

"Ooh, can I come?" said Cassandra.

"NO!" said all of the cats. "YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cassandra walked away.

"Thank Heaviside _she's _gone," said Mungojerrie.

"NOW," said Phillip, "can we GET TO BUSINESS?"

"Alright," said Bombalurina. "Where do you keep the mashed potatoes?"

"That, my friends, is a weather balloon," said Phillip, pointing, "a high-altitude balloon that carries instruments to measure weather."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," said Rumpleteazer. "Would you shut up with the intelligent stuff?!?"

"NO!" said Phillip. "Now, a thermometer measures temperatures…." He showed them a thermometer.

"A cold front is a powerful bunch of air," said Phillip. "A warm front is weaker. When they fight, it's called a stationary front. When cold wins, there is rain. When warm wins, there is humidness."

"No, the humans!" screamed Lemonhead.

"Hands!" screamed Carl.

"I didn't _say _humans," said Phillip. "Or hands. And an occluded front is when they stop fighting."

"Kind of like Macavity and Munkustrap," said Mungojerrie.

"MACAVITY!" cried Demeter. "Where's Macavity? Where's Munkustrap?"

"Macavity's not there," said Bombalurina. "And neither is Munk."

Demeter started to cry, but perked up. "NO MACAVITY!!!!!!" she said happily.

"Me happy," said Ho-Ho. "Me happy when kitty happy."

"I'm not happy," said Uncle Albert.

"I'm almost done," said Phillip, on the verge of tears. "Maritime tropical is warm, wet weather. Continental polar is cold and dry, the very opposite. And…"

Rumpleteazer screamed. "It's… too much…" she said dramatically, before fainting into her mate's arms.

Mungojerrie blinked. "That was quick."

"I'm done with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Phillip. "GET OUT OF HERE!"

Soon, they were back home, where they belonged.

The End


End file.
